Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ladies & Gents, May I introduce you to…..Trivia Thursdays!!!!

So to mix things up a bit, I’ve decide to make Thursdays into some sort of trivia game. Every week the topic will be different, but the rules will be the same. 

This week I have 10 different lyrics from 10 incredibly different artists/bands. The first person to comment with the name of the song and artist for all ten lyrics will be the winner. The cut off for guesses will be the following Thursday. If you win, I will write a blog post about you. Not much in the way of a HUGE prize ( I am a struggling young professional after all) but at least it will make you feel important for a second. I was thinking of allowing whoever wins to pick the topic for the next week…but I am still debating that.

I don’t want anyone to have an unfair advantage. If you aren’t one of my many (cough*four*cough) followers because you’re lame and don’t have a g-mail account…you can write your guesses on my facebook wall or something. I’ll start things off a little easy. I have no way of knowing if you cheat or not so I guess I’ll have to take your word on it. I will start off the first week semi-easy to get into the groove of things.

So let’s kick off Trivia Thursdays with some lyrics:

**Note: I have picked these songs out of my vast Encyclopedia of music knowledge. If, by chance, some happen to be covers, either the original artist or the artists covering them will do.**

1. And I had a lot of time to think/And you're all I seem to keep think, to keep thinking of

2. Nobody likes you when you're 23/I'm still more amused by TV shows/What the hell is ADD?

3.  I may run and hide/When you're screamin’ my name, alright

4. Gimme the microphone first, so I can bust like a bubble/Compton and long beach together, now you know you in trouble

5. Because you don't know us at all we laugh when old people fall/But what would you expect with a conscience so small
6. We were as one babe/For a moment in time/And it seemed everlasting/That you would always be mine

7. She had the sightless eyes/Telling me no lies/Knockin' me out with those American thighs

8. I came into this world as a reject/ Look into these eyes then you'll see the size of the flames

9.   It may not be no French Riviera/But it's all the same to me as long as I’m with you

10. And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it/I spent too much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted

Good Luck!!

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Art of Being a Manchild

Manchild.  A seemingly simple compound word that has gained popularity in the past couple of years. But what exactly is a manchild? 

According to Urban, a manchild is “An adult male who still possesses psychological traits of a child.” Seems like a pretty straightforward definition. I’m sure we can all muster up examples of men in our day to day life that exemplify this word.  I love this particular word because it can be used in the form of a compliment OR a diss. One can take it as “I am a man but I have some childlike habits that keep me young and fresh,” while others may take it as “I am a grown ass man and DO NOT behave like a child!” It is usually the latter that are more keen to deserve the title.

Now, this word can also personify a child with man-like qualities. Perhaps an 11 year old boy who is 6’1 and 200 pounds with a mustache.  However, this post will be more focused on the men who behave like children definition. 

When exactly does one cross the line from being a young male adult to a manchild? I would say the cut off for any man would be at the age of 25. Some may possess a seemingly adult job, hold a steady relationship, and have a car. Others may live at home, work sporadically and take the bus. A manchild has no boundaries.

What qualities does one have to possess to bypass being a child but not quite make it as a man? From my extensive research (a Google search) here is what I believe to be the characteristics of a manchild:

  • Avoids responsibility at all cost
  • Will always take the easiest way out in any situation
  • Has to enlist help from others to perform basic tasks (making dinner, buying big boy clothes, etc)
  • Throws tantrums when they don’t get what they want
  • Still thinks video games and fast food should be a staple in one’s life

Of course there are many more things that can be added but I found these five traits are the most common. Usually these are the guys that are hilarious to hang out with once a month but any more than that you want to gouge your eyes out. 

Which, of course, leads me to make a list (surprise) of my favorite manchildren. 

George Castanza, Seinfeld

Andy Milonokis
Charlie Runkle, Californication

Charlie Sheen, Two and a Half Men

Doug, King of Queens

Jonah Hill, Superbad

Seth Rogan, Pineapple Express

Steve-O, Jackass
Now do not get me wrong. I love me a man who doesn’t take things too seriously and has a kick ass sense of humor. Who may enjoy watching movies from their youth once in a while and loves dirty humor. In all honesty, every guy on the above list holds a special place in my heart. But I think I speak for most (if not all) women, nobody wants to date a manchild.

So if you think this describes you, you might want to slowly re-evaluate yourself.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Review: Shameless: Season One

Shameless: Season One
Channel: Showtime
Slot: Sunday nights, 10pm

Shameless is a Showtime series which originated in the U.K. in 2004. It was adapted as a Showtime series in 2009 and debuted on Showtime on January 2011. 

The heavy advertising (some of their promos timed out at ten minutes) before and after my favorite show Dexter at first made me leery of the show. It showed a drunk William Macy running around a bonfire and in the streets. However, it was a worth a shot as Dexter was ending and Shameless was positioned in the time slot right after Californication (yet another favorite).

I am a huge fan of almost all Showtime’s shows for the way they seem to push the envelope in more ways than one. Shameless was no exception. The first episodes depicted a somewhat non-conventional family consisting of six kids basically raising themselves after their mom leaves them and their dad goes off to become the town drunk.  The cast focuses on Fiona, the twenty-something sister who has taken over the motherly role to her five younger siblings. Lip, the second oldest who seems the most angry at his mother’s departure, balances being a super smart kid with his rebellious nature. Ian, a teenager struggling with his sexuality and desire to join the military; Debs, a young girl who expresses more maturity than the adults around her and whom also seems to take on a motherly role; Carl, a young boy who enjoys blowing things up and getting into trouble; and Liam, the two-year-old baby who is of an African-American ethnicity which the show has yet to explain.

Frank Gallagher is the dad who is played by the amazing William H. Macy. He took this character of a selfish, drunk dad and made it into someone whom the audience can’t help but to fall in love with. Even throughout his crazy expenditures and ideas; one is always (sometimes involuntarily)   rooting for Frank. He makes no qualms about bouncing in and out of his children’s lives whether it be when he is running from the cops or needs to fake his own death to avoid repaying people he owes money to.

The supporting cast is exceptional considering that only one of them had any significant experience before this show. Joan Cusack (sister of John Cusack) has an impressive comedic background having been part of the Saturday Night Live cast back in 1985. Cusack plays Shelia, an incredibly sweet woman who suffers from agoraphobia and is deathly afraid of leaving the house. Her daughter Karen, is known for being slightly slutty and Lip’s best friend. Shelia starts off the season in short appearances but by mid-season she has become a central part of the plot. Cusack’s portrayal of a neurotic yet sweet housewife deserves a Best Supporting Actress role if you ask me.

The other two main supporting characters are Veronica and Kev. They are a young couple that live next door to the Gallaghers’ and are usually involved in whatever drama is occurring. Kev works as a bartender at frank’s go-to bar so he sees firsthand the trainwreck that is Frank and how his alcoholism affects his kids. Veronica is Fiona’s best friend and helps her with the kids while being her support system for not losing her sanity. They both see what Frank’s absence does to his kids and in some ways try to fill that void.

The last somewhat major character is Fiona’s boyfriend Steve. He started perusing her in the first episode and throughout the season they hold a somewhat stormy relationship. He brings a voice of reason to Fiona and seems to enjoy helping out with the rest of the kids. However, things aren’t also quite as they seem with him.

The show showcases six kids struggling to survive on their own with only limited guidelines. It is a dark comedy in the fact that not an episode goes by without humorous events occurring yet the sadness and anger felt towards their home situation is clearly portrayed. 

I cannot wait for season two and I have no doubt that it will be as witty and heartfelt as season one has been. If you have Showtime on Demand I really suggest checking it out. It should be up on Netflix in a couple of months or you can just stream episodes from Showtime’s website.

The best television show of the year so far.

Monday, March 28, 2011

The Library is a Freaky Place

I’m sure everyone has been to the library at some point in their lives whether it be studying for a test, dragged there by their mom, or meeting up with a group of kids from school to work on a project. The library was one of the only places parents felt safe dropping their kids off because really? What could happen at a library?

Having had friends that scooped up a part time job there I know for a fact…more shit goes down in a library than one would EVER know! From frisky young teens getting down and dirty in the sci-fi section to Jackass wannabes copying pictures of their asses on the 5 cent photocopy machine and for mostly every worker lighting up behind the building…no place is really that sacred. 

As a young woman I know some people find it weird that I still visit the library on a semi-weekly basis. Not many think of the library as the “coolest” place to be but for me, it offers comfort and relaxation. As an avid reader I quickly read my way through most of the kids and young adult books in the old library and had nowhere else to go. Before Amazon offered books in a fast and substantially cheap matter, I was left to go spend $20 at Borders for a book a.) I didn’t know if I’d like and b.) I would probably finish in 48 hours whether I liked it or not.  Ever since my town finally moved its library to a building that could hold more than 3 books and made it all nice and snazzy, I find the experience of going there a lot more enjoyable. I can take out 10 books at a time (a good 2 weeks of reading for me) and hey! Who can forget…it’s free!

Now for all the pleasure I get from reading these books, it’s really the experience of browsing and seeing which books tickle my fancy that keeps me coming back. Unfortunately for me, this experience was very much ruined the other night. Please allow me to set the scene for you:

It is around 7:30 on a Thursday night. There’s a bit of a nip in the air which, although spring is said to be here, makes it feel more like a winter night. I enter the library and am hit with “the smell.” The one all libraries have. Disinfectant, new books, and a little perfume. A very distinct smell indeed. I head upstairs, passed the floor entitled “Teen Central” which is sure to be filled with tweens getting their Twilight on while lounging in the ever cool beanbag chairs. There are probably a couple of girls my age who snuck in there. Shame on them.
So I make it to the third floor. Automatically my eyes stray toward the ever-present “King of the Library.” The man who sits on his throne (a beige metal disk in the middle of the room) and waits for senior citizens to ask when the next bus trip to Chinatown is or for deviant housewives to beg to be put on the waiting list for the next Oprah’s Book Club book. All this in a day’s work for that man. I can never tell if he really is just that nice or if he secretly takes a huge bong hits in the bathroom to keep the fa├žade from crumbling. I have yet to see this man lose his composure.

Anywho,  I pass the flustered 30-something mom who is trying to balance their child’s seven Spongebob DVDs while looking for a romance novel that will provide her with the passion she hasn’t felt from her husband since ’83. To my right is the ever present old man in the corner sleeping with a book in his hand and his head tilted forward. He is no doubt finding this library his place of solace so that his loud, Wheel of Fortune obsessed wife of 50 years will leave him alone.

I head towards the biographies and see the s ever present  stressed out high schooler whose books are spread out on the entire table and is typing furiously to finish their 15 page book report before their study group for chemistry comes. They can most likely be found wearing an oversized hoodie of the college they want to attend (on scholarship of course) with the hood up to hide their pale face and unwashed hair. After I see nothing of interest there, I bee-line to the mystery section and began to sort through my options.

As I resign to the fact that the new Harlan Coben book is not there, I suddenly notice an odor in the air. A fairly unpleasant odor. I go to the next aisle and suddenly my sense of smell either became heightened a hundred percent or the smell was just THAT pungent. I look to my left which was apparently the WRONG move when I am hit with a smell that can only be described as a dead animal left on the side of the New York State Thruway decaying in the hot sun for weeks on end. My eyes water, my body tenses as if I am going to make a run for the stairs, and my mind strays to how long could this man possibly have gone without a shower. For starters, he is easily six feet tall, at least 215 pounds. He is wearing a motorcycle jacket with matching boots and perhaps the most disturbing factor is he is holding a naked Cabbage Patch doll.  

I am in no way exaggerating. He is sitting at the table coloring in a coloring book holding his doll. As if this scene isn’t creepy enough, the man across from him is also coloring in a coloring book. It seems they were having a dispute over who was a better colorer. If I hadn’t been so assaulted by the smell I might have offered to show them my own skills at coloring. After realizing standing there wasn’t making the smell go away, I skedaddle to the furthest corner of the room to continue my browsing. 

The only section I could go to without inhaling the death waft was “large print.” Which happens to be in the darkest corner of the room but I didn’t mind.  I can’t seem to concentrate which is probably an after effect of the poisoning smell I had just inhaled. As I try to forget about that ungodly stench, I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye. And right there, hidden behind some awkwardly angled book shelf, is what I believe to be the park lady from Home Alone 2: Lost in NY.

There is no doubt in my mind that I stared at this lady for a good twenty seconds while my brain tried to comprehend why she chose to drag a chair to the dankest corner of the library and hide behind a bookshelf.  No answer is popping into my head when I hear a slight noise. I listen more intently and then it comes to me! This lady is sleeping and from what I can hear…snoring. Which makes it all the more disturbing is I could have sworn her eyes were open. I didn’t dare look again. I decided this was too much for me to handle on a Thursday night and I picked up the first book I saw and left the library.

Some may say, did that really deserve a blog written about it? And I would answer…it most certainly did! If your sense of smell was violated as deeply as mine was you too would be concerned about the small children that might have inhaled it. And if you got the shit scared out of you by the possible rebirth of the bag lady from Home Alone 2 then yes I would think you would share your story.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The World’s Sexiest Sandwich

Order: Louisiana Lightning: No tomatoes or onions. Add sweet peppers

Location: TJ’s Hero Shop 508 E. Main St Patchogue, NY 11772

Price: Full Sub: $7.99 Half Sub $4.90


TJ’s Hero’s is located in a nondescript brick building next to a random deli on Patchogue’s East Main Street. Unless you were actively looking for it, not much about the place stands out. The sign is barely large enough to read from ten feet away and the outside looks like it hasn’t been renovated in a decade. The inside isn’t much better with faded linoleum flooring and two tables designated as the “Dining In” area. However, none of this seems relevant as soon as you taste one of their subs.

My brother has been raving about this place for years; but I like to stick close to home and go to all my favorite “tried and true” delis down the block. It took the irrepressible urging of my boyfriend and his friend one Sunday afternoon to finally get my ass off the couch and go to TJ’s Hero Shop. Known to regular customers as just “TJ’s.” A good decision it was. From the somewhat stained and washed out laminated menu on the counter I saw I had more than ten delicious options ahead of me. I was certain this was going to take a while to find the EXACT sandwich that fit my mood when Scott said “Get the Louisiana Lightning. Add peppers.” It was getting to be my turn and I knew my indecisiveness was not going to over well with the seemingly no –nonsense woman behind the counter. I started to feel anxious and knew nobody would appreciate me holding up the line so I heeded to his ever-wise advice and went with the Louisiana Lightning. Add sweet peppers. Under no circumstances should a tomato or onion touch my sandwich.

Best advice I have received this year so far. She bundled up our subs and we were on our way. My anticipation was increasing as I kept getting whiffs of the sandwiches on the fifteen minute ride home. I opened my sandwich the same way one would eagerly open a Christmas present. My first bite was euphoric. I have never done hard drugs but it was what I would imagine drug addicts must feel after being depraved of a good hit for days. I knew this was not the last time I would be eating this sandwich.

The sandwich consisted of half a sub (“hoagie” if you’re weird) loaded with Cajun chicken, sweet peppers, lettuce, and their secret “stealth sauce.” That’s cheese. And you know what? I dare say cheese might have ruined the experience. As an avid cheese fan, that phrase has never been said by me. But in this case…there is an exception.

The stealth sauce is like no other. It was hot and left my chapped lips burning but it was a good burn. Sure it was a task within itself to get all these delicious things in my mouth in one shot but I tried my best and succeeded. The chicken was cooked perfect and was cut into perfectly bitable portions. The peppers were sliced just right as to not make me choke and added a crunch to the sandwich. And the sauce well…it was heavenly.

I have yet to try any other sandwich that arouses my taste buds as much as this one did. But I am most definitely on the look out! Send me some suggestions. You know this girl doesn’t like to go hungry!


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Top Ten Best TV Shows of the '90s

These aren’t in any particular listing simply because asking me to pick my favorite between all these shows is asking me to pick my favorite child (if were to have children). All of these shows I can say I have watched 98%-100% of the episodes and would thoroughly enjoy it if anyone were to buy me them on a box set (except Seinfeld because I have all of them…). Now let’s get down to business. What is it that made these shows so amazing in my eyes? Well aside from the fact that 87% of all history and social norms I have been taught have been from these shows, these characters were my friends. When I was an awkward 8 year old with braces and a bob haircut who kept me company? Zack Morris and Screech. When I was a 9 year old and unsure if playing Barbies was still socially acceptable…who taught me as long as I wasn’t wearing sweatpants I was still in the clear? Why, George and Jerry. What other innocent girl asked her dad what a condom is because she saw it on 90210? None other than this one right here. So here you go. Enjoy.

All That:
What could be better than a TV show that not only had HILARIOUS sketches but a musical guest at the end?? Nothing! I started off watching this in good ‘ol ’96 when I didn’t know what a good joke was and thought Lori Beth Denberg being a librarian and telling everyone “QUIET THIS IS A LIBRARY” was downright piss-your-pants hysterical. Not to mention when Kenan Thompson brought out the British accent in the tub and got into all kinds of shenanigans that made me choke on the (tons) of cheese doodles I was most likely shoving down my throat. Ten points if you comment and say what his character's name was because I cannot for the life of me remember. Kenan & Kel's Good Burger was never a disappointment although their spin off show definitely was. If you couldn't already tell, Kenan was my favorite because not only did I think he was the funniest but he also starred in "Heavyweights" which is on my top 5 favorite movies. And who can forget that TLC rapped the theme song? That was probably what made me like it in the first place. In addition, they had all the hottest mid-'90s bands perform not ONCE but sometimes TWICE during the show. Most memorable performances for me: TLC's "Creep", Backstreet Boys "As Long as you love me,”Blackstreet-No Diggity, and Robyn's "Show me love" Not that there wasn't more that I liked but for some reason these all stood out for me. Probably because they all involved super neon-colored baggy pants and smooth choreographed moves.

Beverly Hills: 90210
Just to put it out there…I probably should not have been watching this show at the tender age of 9. However, my mom worked nights and my dad was busy watching The Simpsons with my brother so no one really could stop young, rebellious me.  This show not only showed me the hardships that occur once one starts dating (Kelly Taylor alone endured getting shot, burned, raped, sucked into a cult, and numerous bad outfits all before 25), but how incestuous some groups of friends can be in high school. I mean really Dylan? I think the only girl he didn’t hook up with was Andrea and that’s because she was the ugly dork that worshiped the ground Brandon walked on. Oh, and probably Donna because she was the lowly virgin who only had eyed for the too-cool-for-school David. And then you had Valerie, the super slore who really would sleep with anyone.  It really didn’t get better than this show and to tell you the truth…I still watch reruns religiously on Soap Net. Judge if you want but..90210 is the shit.

Salute Your Shorts
I think any kid growing up in the ‘90s who wasn’t Amish can agree that Salute your Shorts really was the show to watch on Saturdays. Potty humor, Donkeylips, Camp Anawanna…really it doesn’t get much better. I remember thinking armpit farts were AWESOME but I couldn’t ever make one.  At the time, it was part of the awesome Saturday line up which included Double Dare, Hey Dude, and Round House.  One of the stand outs of this show for me was the infamous “Zeke the Plumber” episode where the man had no nose. The back story is hazy to me but I do remember having nightmares as a child because of that episode.

Full House
Whoever says they have NEVER seen an episode of Full House is lying through their teeth. I felt I was an addition to the Tanner family. The family who got into CUH-RAZY shenanigans from Uncle Jesse (yes the stud muffin from Jesse & the Rippers) almost letting fame get to his head to DJ and Kimmy getting drunk at the school dance.  All they needed was a sit down from Danny and perhaps a hug...and everything was ok. Who could really forget the episode where Papoul dies and I sat there sobbing as if I knew the man. I could really go on & on but suffice it to say...I wanted to be a part of the Tanner family. I WAS part of the Tanner family. Except if I WERE there I would have kicked Kimmy Gibler’s ass out of my house and safeguarded my food from that monster Steve.

Family Matters
Yet another dinner time staple. My family rarely agreed on what to watch when we ate dinner ( 9 times out of 10 it was either Married…with Children or The Simpsons) but the few times I got to pick this was it. For some reason Urkel’s extreme nerdiness coupled with Laura’s extreme bitchiness really did it for me. Things got a little weird when Urkel went in the weird time machine thing and came out a handsome young man but I knew the real Urkel would come back. Carl Winslow’s immense hatred for Urkel made for some hilarious moments but it bummed me out when things always got serious at the end. It was like the black Full House. My most memorable episode was when their Aunt Oona came to visit and they gave her a make-over. It turns out she looks EXACTLY like Donna Summer (hint was Donna Summer!!) and she sings “Last Dance” at a karaoke bar.

Boy Meets World
Perhaps the best part of TGIF. Little Corey Matthews trying to weather the hardships of high school with his trailer park best friend Shawn and the love of his life Topanga. Now I remember in the early episodes Topanga as this weird ass hippie girl who nobody liked. Except for Minkus. Ah, Minkus. I don’t even remember when he got written off the show. I loved Corey’s tree house and how nobody thought that’s where he could be when he used to “run” away. Clever Mr. Finney always there with his trusty sweater vest and worldly wisdom. Shawn developed into a hottie and I got jealous when he dated super ugly Angela. Topanga got boobs and Corey well…he got taller I guess. Great show.

Fresh Prince of Bel Air
This show is a classic for many obvious and not-so-obvious reasons. Any show that started in 1990 (almost 20 years ago oh my god I am fucking ancient!) and can still make me laugh has a gold star in my book. I didn’t understand a lot of the jokes when I was younger but once it got on syndication and I started watching re-runs..damn Big Willie had some sexual innuendos didn’t he? The gruff yet lovable Uncle Phil, the fruit cake cousin Carlton, and the witty butler Jeffrey all made for a hilarious half hour when I was watching dinner. To this day, whenever this show is on I watch it and marvel at how many guest stars went on to become famous. And let’s face it…I’m still in love with Will Smith. And his sweet guest house behind Uncle Phil’s house.

Saved by the Bell
Not “The New Class.” Not “College Years.” Just plain old Saved by the Bell. The GOOD cast. Not the first episodes with that semi-dykey girl with the motorcycle jacket on. And that boy with the jerry curl. The Zack, Screech, Jesse, Slater, Lisa, & Kelly cast. Where for some reason Kelly didn’t realize how gorgeous Zack was, Lisa never had a man but Screech (ew), and beautiful Slater liked Jesse (who would ever love Jesse Spano??) Some stand out episodes for me were: Jesse overdosing on caffeine pills when studying and dancing in that aerobics video with Kelly & Lisa really got her stressin’. Probably still one of my favorite episodes. The toga party when Zack drives home drunk and crashes Lisa’s mom’s car. I just like how they portrayed a “drunk person.” At the age I had never been drunk and thought “Gee that looks like fun!” And of course all the beach episodes when the clubhouse woman from “Kings of Queens” is Zack’s love interest. Who can also forget Zack’s awesome cell phone? I think my mom still has one of those…

Probably my all-time favorite show. I am aware that many people hate it and that it takes a certain “type” of humor to find it hilarious. But really…a show about nothing?? GENIUS! I can relate to every single episode whether it is having a blow up doll in the car so you could drive in the HOV lane to not wanting to date somebody with “man hands.” Elaine, Jerry, Kramer, and George were truly what I aspire to be one day. George & Jerry’s parents are what I KNOW my parents will be one day. They have all tried to get their own shows and (for the most part) failed because what made them funny were them as a GROUP. If you ask me, they should just get together again and do Seinfeld until they die. Almost all the episodes are memorable to me but my favorites: “The Parking Garage”, “The Pez Dispenser” and “Junior Mint.”

Are you Afraid of the Dark?
This show marked a pivotal point in my life. I was finally old enough to stay up until 9:00pm on Saturdays AND watch a show with my older brother that was deemed to “scary” the prior year. From the opening credits I knew I was going to be terrified but I was willing to risk that for the chance of finally being cool enough to engage in this ultra-cool show. From the creaky swing to the kids putting out the fire with the sand at the end…I was petrified. More times than not I had to read a book or watch the Brady Bunch after this show because I was too scared to sleep. A particular memorable episode for me starred Tia & Tamera (the sisters from Sister, Sister). They turn into chameleons and “chameleons” threaten to take over the world.  Kind of sounds like Pinky and the Brain but I was ready to pee my pants. To make it worse, my brother had an iguana and for all I knew they were the same thing. I never went near it. Great show.

Agree? Disagree? Let me know what you think. It won’t change my list but I’m interested in hearing what shows formed your younger years.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

My First Post

Joey and I decided to make a blog so we could post critiques about all different things.

I haven't blogged since my sophomore year of high school. So excuse me if this is a little shaky. I am quite aware of how funny blogs can be and how much they can suck. Hopefully I won't lose my focus and be able to control my ADD long enough so that my posts won't be all over the place.

I wanted to create this blog for the sole purpose of reviewing things. I am an avid fan of list making and putting my two cents in on everything from what fast food chain has the best items on the menu to what '90s show on Nickelodeon was better, Salute your Shorts or Are you Afraid of the Dark? (Salute your shorts obviously even though I could debate the pros and cons of each for hours). I am the queen of mindless trivia especially if it involves '90s music or TV. I am a huge fan of really shitty TV shows and I get very emotionally involved in any show that stars fat people losing weight. But...I digress (this will happen a lot)

I'm hoping to pick a topic and write a semi-insightful (if not long and painful) blog about it. If you have any suggestions on a topic please tell me (or comment). I eat a lot so expect some food reviews. I read a lot so there will no doubt be some book reviews. Same with television. The only show I will not submit myself to is Jersey Shore. One might think it is because I have morals. The real reason is I know I will become addicted and turn into one of those people who throw Jersey Shore parties every Thursday night and riddle their vocabulary with "grenade" and "GTL." I am very susceptible to horrible reality TV. I do not need to sink further into it's abyss.

I have strong opinions on music and will probably piss off anybody who stumbles upon this blog and is a fan of Slipknot and death metal. Then again, I very much doubt there are a lot of death metal fans looking up blogs on Google but you really never know. I also hate most indie music and have little tolerance for boys who wear size 0 girl's pants when I struggle to fit my ass into size 6s. I am hoping that whole fad will die but every time I walk into H&M I see it is very much alive.

So there you go. There is my little introduction. I will probably change everything about this blog a million times but it's my blog so...I can do that. All the blogs I like are hilarious and don't really have a focus so hopefully mine will be the same. I am going to go and enjoy my mint Oreos now and think of a topic for tomorrow. I'm thinking a list of the Top 10 Best Television Shows in the '90s....