9 Trends I Hope to Never Partake In

Leopard Jeggings

Do they look comfy? A little. Is that comfort worth my soul? No.

Twitter 

Nobody gives a shit what I am doing during the day unless it is somewhat amusing or includes them. No one wants to hear that I had a hot dog for lunch and have been burping it up ever since. It seems the people who really abuse this form of social media are the same people I de-friended on Facebook. So…no thanks.

Bringing my small ass dog to venues as an accessory

I don’t like other peoples dogs being near me unless I invest a personal interest in them. I’m not a huge fan of small dogs to begin with and even less so when they have a Coach hat on.

Lady Gaga 

Don’t get her. Probably never will. Sure she loves the gays. So do I. Still find her annoying as hell

Fish Tacos 

Even at my most inebriated state I will never eat these. The name speaks for itself.

Going bra-less in Public

I’m not a hippie. And although I may not have the most voluptuous chest, I still have dignity. No one wants to see your tits near your bellybutton.

Robert Pattinson 

He’s fugs and has a huge forehead. I’d rather watch Nazi Germany on the History Channel for the 445^th time than watch anything he is in

Jersey Shore 

I grew up with people like them and I see them every time I walk into a bar. I do not need to watch this in my spare time. 

Apps taking over my life 

When I am with people I actually like to engage in conversations (most of the time any way) This is impossible when that person is engaged in whatever the fuck app they downloaded on their phone. Put. It. Away.