Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Why Some Artists Need to Find a New Hobby

Some artists have been blessed to have a long, successful career filled with Grammy Awards and Lifetime Achievement statues. Others have over stayed their welcome and need to make a hasty exit. 

Unless you can put on a show that is equal to or better than your best, it may be time to throw the hat in. I just saw Bon Jovi in concert (seriously) and they played for 3 hours straight with no breaks or opening act. Sure they no longer had the super queer poufy hair and stage make up but they were just as good (if not BETTER) than all the live concerts I saw of them on VH1 in the ‘80s.

On the contrary, I will not be venturing out to see the NKOTB/BSB tour because I know it is going to be an embarrassment. Sure the Backstreet Boys were my main squeezes when I was a pre-teen but to see them would just feel…wrong.

Nobody wants to give up on an artist or band that they were obsessed with at some point in their lives. It sucks. It’s like admitting you’re getting old. So to make this easier on us, the fans, I feel the band/artist needs to give up trying to be what they once were.

I have compiled a list of artists and bands that I feel exemplify my point to a T. Let me know if you feel the same.


Need I really say more? The only hits he spawns nowadays are collaborations with female groups that he founded on “Making the Band.” His attempt to “rap” (or “fast speak” as I like to call it) is pitiful at best. His lyrics are eh and do not have any sort of flow to them. Stick to business Puff Daddy-Diddy-O. Biggie’s gone, Mase found God, and nobody wears Sean John anymore.

J Lo 
Not like she was ever really respected in music but this lady has GOT to stop releasing these horrendous songs. You’re still hot J.Lo, but stick to American Idol and your lame cookie cutter romance comedies (not counting Selena because that movie was great). All your songs steal from other people and barely try to disguise it. My ears bleed when I hear your vocals and I’d rather not be subjected to that.

She’s old and weird looking. Her last hit was “Believe” in 1999 and even that song should never have made it to the radio. Her face looks like half Panda, half goth chick. Yes I know she is an “icon” and has been since before I was born but that doesn’t mean I have to like her. Her heyday is long gone and I feel as if she needs to take a rest. A long rest.  

Britney Spears

I think she is a robot. I am not kidding. Have you seen her move her face or show emotion in the past 4 years? I was merely a tweenette when she came out and don’t get me wrong; in her prime she was awesome. I never really cared for her music but she was a very talented dancer. Then the breakdown of ’07 came and hit her ass HARD. And now she is a robot. She can’t really dance that good anymore and well...what she does is not singing. It is speaking some words then autotuning it to within an inch of its life. She was never known to have a good voice. But now she doesn’t even have a voice. And to be completely honest, after she shaved her head she was kind of scary.

Ozzy Osbourne

This is like 10 years overdue. He is funny as hell and I’m sure at one time...talented. But that has ended; he has millions and should spend the rest of his days four wheelin around his property or something. His last attempts at trying to headline Ozzfest were just sad. The man can’t even talk who thought it would be a good idea to try and make him sing? Nothing is sadder than watching an aging rock star try and re-establish his youth.  Hand the reins to some hard rock band (Nine Inch Nails perhaps???) and give it a break.

I’m sure there are many more that I couldn’t think of. I tried not to be that biased and add artists whom I just don’t like (coughLadyGagacough). These artists are just past their prime and need to find a new hobby. Start a blog. That’s what I did.

**Sidenote: Sorry Butler. Better luck next year.***    

No comments:

Post a Comment