Wednesday, May 18, 2011

My Secretive Childhood Movies

I grew up in a bubble of my own making. I thought the movies I saw when I was younger were made exclusively for me. It wasn’t until I got a little older that I realized other people had seen the same movies as me. Here is a list of some of the movies I went through childhood believing were made just for me.

Problem Child 1 & 2 – I absolutely loved these movies. I had a huge crush on Junior (the ginger kid) and thought all his crazy antics were hilarious. Plus Michael Richards as the Bow Tie Killer was brilliant. The first movie came out when I was two so I can only assume my parents rented the VHS to fill a Saturday night. I didn’t think anyone else had ever seen this movie until recently when I saw it on sale on DVD. 

Willow –I watched this at my grandpa’s house and loved the midgets. It took me years to find out this was a real movie and it was called Willow. For some reason I just thought it was one of those super long TV movies the History Channel plays to take up time.

He-Man –My dad taped this off the TV for my older brother. Turns out I became obsessed with it and watched it numerous times a day. To the point where both my parents can recite the whole movie. A really odd movie for a 4 year old girl to love (violence, blood, a really young Courtney Cox) but I was under the impression I was marrying He-Man. I was under the impression and still am, that no one knows of this movie.

Power Rangers- I didn’t necessarily think nobody else knew about this movie. But in my mind, I was the pink ranger and everyone else was an amateur. The super cute white ranger had to be my boyfriend.(You know, the one with the grimy ponytail who turned out to be a criminal years later). 

A Christmas Story – Another classic my dad taped off the TV onto our trusty VCR. I can practically recite the early ‘90s commercials along with the movie. It took me a couple of years to figure out what exactly Ralphie said when he dropped the tool box. I didn’t know anyone knew about this movie until they started playing it for 24hrs on TNT.

Loser –A horrible late ‘90s comedy with Jason Biggs wearing a disgusting wig. I remember this movie only bc it was one of the first movies I was allowed to go see with my friends without a parent. There was an atrocious plot and the acting was painful. Hopefully I’m correct in assuming no one else paid good money to see this movie.

Heavyweights-The Best movie ever about the chubby kid from Mighty Ducks whose parents send him to a fat camp. This came out after Mighty Ducks and had some of the same actors in it. As a child who very much enjoyed eating, I begged my mom to send me to fat camp. After all, I thought fat camp was just a place where chubby kids went to get chubbier. With massive pig outs and sweet activities like The Blob. I guess I was wrong. I kind of still wish I was cast in the movie though.

Hook-Wow, the third one on the list that was taped off the TV. My dad knew hits before I did. I loved this movie (even though Hook scared me) and had no idea Robin Williams and Julia Roberts were such big stars. I distinctly remember thinking Hook was made for me and everyone else got to see Peter Pan. I was a demented child.

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