Thursday, May 5, 2011

Top 10 Worst Band Names

Some bands have it made. Platinum albums, worldwide fame, marrying supermodels. But for all their good fortune something is amiss. And that is knowing their band has an atrocious name.

 I’ve never been in a band so I am not sure how one were to go about deciding on a band name. In my mind, I picture all the guys or girls sitting in bean bag chairs smoking weed and eating pizza. Maybe that’s because I’ve watched Dazed and Confused too much. Whatever the case may be, some bands I feel did not put enough effort into really thinking of a word (or various words) that encapsulates what their band is about.

I have chosen to make a top ten list of the most horrifyingly bad band names I could think of. Some are just bad bands in general so their name suits them well. Me and my best friend had an imaginary band called the Nudist Colony Reunion when we were younger. I still think that name is awesome. I wish I remembered where it came from. 

Feast on this…Top 10 Worst Band Names Ever:

 10.) Phish: I would think the band members have taken enough drugs to be a little more creative. Granted they did put the “Ph” instead of the super lame “f.” I do give them credit for being before their time. It was like twenty years later when Phat Farm came out and the “PH” was acceptable.

Where they got their name: A play on drummer John Fishman's last name

  9.) Blind Melon: I love the ‘90s and a big part of that is because of Blind Melon. But I do not agree with their band name. These two words do not fit together and never will. 

Where they got their name: slang for “out of work hippie”. Lead singer Shannon’s dad called them that

 8.) Korn: Put aside that I was not a fan of this band when they came, can you get less un-imaginative than corn with a “k?” Then to do the little letter backward thing…I just thought the whole package sucked.

Where they got their name: Korn started with Kern County which is where Jonathan worked as a Coroner. From that came "KoRn". It was then decided that it would be written like a child would write it, hence the K instead of a C, and the backwards R.

 7.) Fountains of Wayne: They only had one hit. And it was “Stacy’s Mom” so it’s not like I expected much from these guys. I did find out that member Adam Schlesinger wrote title song for That Thing You Do! Which is an awesome movie AND an awesome song. Kudos to him. But really? Who thought this was an award winning name?

Where they got their name: From a lawn ornament store on Route 46 in Wayne, NJ 

 6.) Hootie and the Blowfish: I love Darius and I love Hootie. To be honest, I had no idea Darius Rucker was black for the longest time. I kind of pictured a large, burly redneck. Anyway, this name sucks. No one takes a band seriously when their name rhymes with booty and mentions a fish. 

Where they got their name: from the nicknames of two friends of singer/guitarist Darius Rucker - one with owl-like eyes (Hootie), another with the puffy "Blowfish" cheeks.

  5.) Staind: I like Staind. I think Aaron Lewis has a nice and deep gravely voice. However, explaining to my mom when I was 14 that I want a CD by a band named Staind was met with mixed emotions. “Staind? As in a stain? That’s the band or the title? With a “d” at the end? Not only do they have bad taste apparently they aren’t the best spellers either..” There was a little controversy a couple years ago that Staind might have to change their name. Sadly, they got to keep it. Whoever thought adding a “d” at the end was original was probably the same guy who thought a band called “stained” would be respected in the music business. 

Where they got their name: Started out  as "stain", but they found out there was already a band with that name. So they added just the "d" without the "e" to be unconventional.

 4.) Hoobastank:  I’ll admit I own Hoobastank’s self-titled CD. Was it a little embarrassing adding them to the list of band’s I liked? Yes. I don’t even need to go into why this name is horrible. I believe it speaks for itself.

Where they got their name: I found two conflicting stories on how Hoobastank got their name. The first one was at the beginning of their career, they walked into a recording studio and there was a man in the waiting room. He had Tourette's Syndrome. Out of nowhere, he just started yellng "Hoobastank! Hoobastank! Hoobastank!" They thought it was funny, so they used that name. 

The other story was they were all at a football match together and someone yelled out 'who butt stink' and they turned that into hoo-ba-stank.
I don’t know which one is true. Whatever happened, I definitely would have had a name change before my first album came out.

 3.) Limp Bizkit: Even Carson Daly knew this name was absurd the minute their video for “Faith” made it’s way to TRL. Another snazzy band who likes to misspell words. But who would expect anything less from Fred Durst?

Where they got their name: Got the idea from Fred Durst's dog Biscuit who has a limp.

 2.) Goo Goo Dolls: I like the Goo Goo Dolls. I’ve heard stories that Jonny’s an asshole which I’m sure isn’t too far from the truth. Nevertheless, their name is the most ridiculous name ever. What group of guys who want to make a name for themselves in the rock industry, come up with the name “Goo Goo Dolls?” I seriously don’t know how three (seemingly straight) men agreed on this name wholeheartedly. 

Where they got their name: used to be “Sex Maggots.” Jonny (lead singer) saw an ad for a doll that said “goo goo” when you turned it upside down and thought it was fate.

 1.) Chumbawamba: Well what does one expect from a British band who releases a song called “Tubthumpin?” 

Where they got their name: In a band member's dream, he didn't know which door to use in a public toilet because the signs said "Chumba" and "Wamba" instead of "Men" and "Women"

**Honorable Mention**

Mest: I just think it’s stupid. 

Where they got their name: The band sat around drinking Milwaukee’s Best before a show. They took “M” from Milwaukee and put it over best. Creative huh?

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