I’ve noticed a growing trend and I can’t help but find it disturbing. I have recently come upon my first year out of college and estimated a good third of the people I graduated with were either engaged/married/ pregnant/both. The same people who did body shots on top of the bar, gave a handy to the closest lacrosse player they could find and then found themselves calling their friend to get them while hiding in the bathroom of some 32 year old guy they picked up at Taco bell. The same people who never had a serious boyfriend through all four years of high school and played a game to see how many guys in the same fraternity they could sleep with. The girls you hung out with to basically feel better about your own love situation.
I leave for one year and what happens? They’re starting a family! With someone they met six months ago, fell head over heels in love with and ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT to take the time to get to know them. These aren’t stupid girls. They should know it takes more than 6 months to even crack the surface on getting to know someone else. Their habits, rituals, annoying quirks. To get to know and actually ACCEPT these things is another 6 months. So now we’re working on a year of dating. And these people think they can bypass that and just jump right in?
Perhaps there are other reasons one would choose to marry someone so quickly. Money…a place to live…money…being super needy…money…I’m all out of ideas. Maybe it’s an upstate New York thing. Marry the first acceptable suitor, crank out 2 to 3 kids, realize within the first 2 years it’s not going to work, stay an extra 5 until the youngest kid is in school, then have an affair. This sounds like I hate all upstate New Yorkers. And I most definitely do not. People down here do it too. But with the divorce rates sky high wouldn’t that make people want to stop and think a second. Why rush into things? What do we have to lose by just dating for a couple of years? Maybe moving in together? Not rushing into anything? The answer to that is: you will lose nothing and only gain insight into your relationship.
Bordering on being 23, it makes me feel old that people I know are already posting pictures of their wedding and their cute babies. As I let myself wallow in pity for a hot minute, I then realize 76% of these people will probably be divorced with a 7 year old child in a couple of years. I might sound cynical and I hope I’m wrong. But it’s an overwhelming thought to me to know someone for 6 months (or even a year) and marry or have a child with them. That’s a finalizing decision. Sure you can divorce, but there’s no giving back the kid (if you have any morals that is).
I know I’m immature for my age. At times, selfish. I like to do things when I want to do them. I like to go out on the weekends, spend money, and not worry about anyone but myself. Hell, I think most 22/23 year olds would agree with me. This isn’t the 1950’s anymore. You don’t graduate high school, get married, have kids, and enjoy a lifetime of being a doting wife/mother. Although I know some of my friends who would probably prefer that lifestyle.
So I guess my main thought throughout this whole blog/rant is…why? Why is it that people are in such a rush to grow old? Why would you want to be tied down so young? Someone please explain this to me. I’m all for being in a relationship. Even living with someone. But I don’t understand the rush to be an adult. I’m no Peter Pan, but I’d like to enjoy what little of my youth I have left. Check back with me this time next year. Then I’ll most certainly feel like an old lady.